Self-Love Isn’t Selfish – Discover Your True Self!

• The Self-Love Surprise!

I was looking for options for naming my website, so I looked up synonyms of the word “self-love.” To my surprise and disappointment, the synonyms of “self-love” were all negative! Take a look below:

• The Self-Love Sabotage!

Just like the majority of people, has self-loving always been selfish for you? That’s what we’ve been conditioned into for centuries. This wrongful belief has made us sabotage ourselves. We are never made to understand that self-love is as essential as any other virtue and that it doesn’t mean ignoring, hurting others or being selfish.

The greatest things in your life will start happening when you make this one thing your priority: Self-love. I learned this the hard way. After facing abandonment in my closest relationships, I began to question my own value. Because we are always taught to take credit only when someone validates us, we tend to forget how credible we actually are, even without all those people.

I suffered for many months before making a decision that changed my life and my outlook towards it, forever. I decided to love myself! As selfish as it sounds to conditioned humans, it’s actually the best thing you can do for yourself and others around you. Completely alone then, I decided to be my own best friend, my own companion. For me, all it took was just a decision.

The next morning, I was a changed person. I took pleasure in my own company. I indulged in some self-love practices, made the best food for myself, took me out on dates, did some shopping, pampered myself, enjoyed my favorite food, had the best month of my life, ALL ALONE! And I didn’t wince at the sight of other people being happy with their friends. I was just so comfortable and wholesome! This was a feeling of satisfaction I never had in my life. I wondered why I didn’t do this earlier.

I’m No Expert But Here Are Some Tips Based On My Experience That Might Help You In Your Journey:

1. Pamper yourself, just like I did. It can be anything from a body massage at the spa, reading a book by the window, eating you to just a warm bath at your home. Just give yourself some time. Pay attention to your needs and take care of them timely.

2. Self-love is incomplete without the stuff you should do every day. The things you would want your companion to look after, out of love and care. For example, having a good breakfast, cutting on caffeine, staying hydrated the right way, not postponing pee breaks(trust me, this one is important), eating your veggies, de-addicting yourself from harmful habits, indulging in a hobby, or a workout. In short, making the best decisions for yourself. Be the life partner you desire for yourself!

3. The next important aspect of self-care is “knowing when to say NO!”. Take a look at your schedule and make sure you aren’t overburdening yourself. Learn to reschedule or say no to some clients, no to over-work, no to repeated all-nighters, no to repeatedly sacrificing weekends. And no (influencers take note!), gulping down gallons of coffee, pulling an all-nighter and sharing it on Instagram as if it’s something to be proud of, isn’t going to be a good influence! Of course, if you go an extra mile to catch a deadline a few times, it’s okay. But not all the time. Something unethical like this shouldn’t become your work ethic. It looks like you work really hard for your clients but what good is it if it’s only harming your own health?

4. They say, “you mustn’t rest until you’re successful or settle down.” What is the fixed definition of success? When did anyone “settle” in their lives? “Settling” is a myth. We are on this planet to enjoy and make the journey worthwhile. Take your much-deserved rest. Moreover, “Everything in my life turned out to be exactly as I planned.”, said NO ONE EVER! So, do not wait to be successful to start caring for yourself. If you already did so, you must’ve lost a lot of your life, time and youth. You must’ve already done the damage to your body and mind. Care for yourself NOW and every day. Make healthy choices. When you love yourself, you know your worth. You won’t engage in any such activity that’s going to be a problem for you.

5. Another most significant factor about being in peace with yourself is forgiveness. Not just for others but for yourself as well! Let go of blaming yourself.

There’s no need to accompany an apology with an excuse. Just be kind and forgive yourself. Tell your higher self to guide you further and to help repair any damage if necessary. Think of yourself as your own child who is very guilty inside. You would do anything to make them comfortable with themselves. Give them a hug. Tell them it’ll be alright and that you’re always there for them. Tell them you love them. Be the comfort that you desire.

6. Look at yourself in the mirror. Problem is not how you look, but how you see yourself. Bring yourself to loving your own image. Send love to your image every morning.

7. Download a self-love quotes app that sends you a happiness quote and self-love tips every day.

8. Practice some self-love affirmations when you feel like you’re losing hope.

9. Practice self-love meditation. It works great in bringing back your focus. There are many guided meditations available on YouTube. For example:

• Self-love and energies:

Talking from an energetic point of view, our soul is the purest form of energy that we have. We tend to pollute it with our negative thoughts about ourselves and others. When you live with a low, self-loathing frequency of vibration, your frequency matches with the things, people and events of similar vibration and what you get is more of feeling low. At some point, you start hating yourself. Slowly, other people also start hating you. You get stuck in this spiral. It gets so hard to get back up. It seems, only another person with a much higher vibration can pull you up with consistent effort. You can ask for help or you can gather your remaining strength and raise yourself to a high, self-loving frequency. Read how to train your subconscious mind here. 

Do whatever it takes. When you start raising your frequency, you will notice better things, people and events coming to you. You will be more aware of the energies you’re letting in. Now you love yourself, so you’ll only want the best for yourself, won’t you?

Again, this might sound selfish to some people, but how can you heal other toxic people when you’re toxic yourself? How can you expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself? Set that bar high and only let those people in who match that level and see your life transform. You have got to make choices for yourself. There’s a limit to which one can let other people abuse oneself. You’ve got to make your boundaries clear.

Also, if you wish you serve other people, even your family, you need to achieve a level of self-love in order to be fulfilled. Read more about selfless service here.

So, are you ready to start this self-love journey to a conscious existence with me? Let us find the higher purpose of our life. Let us change those negative synonyms forever. The thesaurus is not always right, after all. Start today and start right now. It’s never too late to love the most important person in your life that is YOU.

If you love yourself, you've got to find your spirit animal! Read this.