One of the first advice people give when someone shares their problems is – “Just be yourself!”.

Okay.

But how is anyone supposed to be themselves when it’s the very thing that’s creating problems for them??

What does it actually mean to “Be yourself”?

I am a person who absolutely cannot change the prominent features of my inherent nature, just because others don’t like it. Of course, if it is harming others, I check myself. But if it is not, I prefer to be true to myself rather than manipulating myself into becoming what I’m not.

E.E. Cummings wrote:

“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight.”

Therefore, it takes courage to be yourself.

However, it should never have been this way. The fact that it is, speaks volumes about why you should try being yourself more often.

Let Me Try And Explain It In Points Here, To The Best Of My Understanding.

• What Does Success Means To You?

Success can mean different things to different people. What is it for you?

Is it earning a lot of money? Or is it about service to humanity? Saving the environment? Or buying a house? Whatever it may be, your choices should be reflecting what you have in mind for the future. Whatever is coming in your way, you shouldn’t be bothered about giving it much attention.

Of course, we are not going to the extent of being extremely selfish here. But do not let someone else dictate your life goals. Sometimes, your goals won’t go well with the people around you. But in the end, YOU have to live your life, not them.

• Identifying Intuition.

As a human, one of our most powerful gifts is intuition. Contrary to popular beliefs, everyone has it. You only need to pay attention to it.

Identify the moments when your intuition worked. It can be simply about deciding to take a different road home one fine day, and it turned out to be lifesaving. Or when you didn’t feel right about a person when you met them and they hurt you later in some way.

Practice listening to your “gut-feeling”. The more you practice, the more it develops.

The best quality most successful people have is intuition. That’s how they always make good decisions and avert problems.

If you need help with this, you can read my book "Visions From Beyond", where I explain what intuition is in detail and how to develop it and maintain it.

• What Does Your Inner Child Feel?

Most of us had a troubled childhood (if you didn’t, trust me, you’re very lucky!). We end up carrying those feelings to our adult life. It makes us who we are. Our major problems are associated with pent up feelings.

Identify how the child inside you feels. Think from the perspective of your own self when you were 5 years old. How do you feel? At 15 years? 20? What were your emotional struggles back then? Are they successfully resolved now?

These problems mask the true nature of our inner child and we end up creating problems for ourselves. Identify them and take steps to resolve them. It is said that figuratively, 95% of our adult life is controlled by our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is largely, our childhood.

Were you more creative as a child? Did you like dancing? Are you enjoying these activities as an adult? Were you good with money? Are you letting your inner business-child play? If not, you know what to work on. This is exactly what you’re missing about yourself.

• Be Aware Of Your Thought Patterns.

No one is inherently evil. Evil thoughts are fed to us as we grow up. Take a look at your thought patterns. Spend one day being aware of what you keep thinking the whole day. Be an observer to your own thoughts. You can easily differentiate thoughts implanted by other people from your own. Now you know what to discard and what to keep.

Thoughts can be difficult to manage. That's why, we don't want to resist them, but be aware of them, let them do their dance, and replace them with something positive. The more we do this, we make a habit.

• Truth Or Obligation?

Did you choose your own career or did you oblige by agreeing to what your parents chose for you? Are you excited to go to work every day when you wake up? Face the truth and take steps to change it. Let go of the phrase, “Easier said than done.” How will you know if you’ll never try? It is never too late to realize your dreams.

How many times will you oblige until you feel the existential crisis? Set your priorities and your no-obligation zones. Trust me, you will end up happier. Even if your choice isn’t successful, you won’t feel as If someone imposed it on you. You won’t be in a victim-space any more. You have the power of choice.

• Unconditional Self-Love.

There is no need to be hard on yourself. The society does enough of it already. If you cannot love yourself, how do you expect society to do it? Love yourself like your own small child. Give your inner child, the love it deserves. Help him, be with him, support him, forgive him, love him and cheer him! That’s all he needs.

Click to know how to achieve this.

• Stop Comparing!

No two humans have the exact same lives. What you see on social media is just the rosy part. It makes no sense to compare your thorns to other people’s roses. Even in everyday life, no two humans are comparable. Every person’s history runs in millions of years, how can you compare that?

• Stop Copying Others.

What worked for them might not work for you. Simply because you aren’t them.

It makes all the sense to JUST BE YOURSELF! Because you’re the best version of YOU – the one who is unique. I’m sure you’ve heard this a lot before.

When you copy others, it comes from a lack of self-love. Because you don’t think you’re good enough. If you think you’re not good enough, please read the next point, instead of copying others.

To be inspired is one thing and to copy is another. It can even be illegal in many cases.

• Invest In Your Growth.

No matter at what heights you reach, promise yourself to always invest time and energy in your growth. You know you are unique, so why not grow your uniqueness? When a tree grows, it has more branches, more leaves, more flowers, and more fruits. It becomes even more beautiful. More reasons to be yourself!

• Don’t Apologize For Being Yourself.

As they say,

“Be unapologetically yourself!”

When you hesitate in being yourself, it is coming from past childhood trauma where you might have been shushed or punished when you naturally made noise as a child or engaged in mischief. This is one example but the reason can often be traced to a deep and unexplored childhood emotional problem. That's why, it is good for everyone to work with a therapist who specializes in this area.

Here Are A Summary And A List Of Qualities To Cultivate To Be The Best Version Of Yourself- Be Yourself

• Self-love and all that comprises it.

• Identify what success means to you.

• Exercise your intuition.

• Know what your inner child feels like and nurture him.

• Know your strengths and weaknesses.

• Invest in your all-round growth.

• Know that you are unique.

• Be authentic in whatever you share with the world.

• Stop comparing yourself with others.

• Be unapologetic about being yourself.

And that's a wrap! Now go do something your inner child enjoys and be unapologetic about it!